My friend Jenni made an awesome watermelon cake and brought it to my house the other day. When we didn’t finish all the cake, Jenni decided to leave the leftovers with me. She also left the ginormous cake carrier that she brought it in.
After everyone left, I went to bed. I didn’t remember that the cake was there for 5 days. I’m not really sure how I managed this, as the carrier is truly ginormous and sitting in the middle of my (rather tiny) counter. But I digress…
Now, let’s do some minor calculations: The cake was made July 4th. Today is July 13th. Thus, the cake sitting on my counter is just about a week and a half old. Of course, this means that I no longer have leftover cake sitting on my counter. No, what I have is a huge, inedible brick of sugary flour. Consequently, at this point, the cake carrier is no longer keeping the cake fresh. Rather, it is just keeping flies and maggots away from a brick of sugary flour on my counter.
It seemed more logical to just dispose of the cake-brick and find another use for the ginormous cake carrier. True, I am supposed to give the carrier back to Jenni. But I thought that if I discovered a really snazzy use for it, she might let me keep it. Here’s what I tried:
First, I thought that Mr. Kitty might enjoy a nice new bed. So I got one of his favorite pillows and tried to make him a cozy home. However, he did not seem terribly impressed with my efforts.
He found a bit of cake that I didn’t clean off of the side and, after eating said cake, he sat there looking confused and skeptical of my life choices.
I realized that this was not working. So I thought that I’d try and make the carrier into a snazzy new hat. I wore it about for a bit but, as you can see…I couldn’t see.
Things were clearly not working. But after just two failed attempts, I refused to give up. Flipping the carrier upside down, I realized that it would make a swell container. But what should it contain? My immediate response was, “water!!!” But what use would a cake carrier-turned-water carrier be?
It didn’t take me long to figure out that the water carrier would make a nice little jacuzzi for Mr. Puppy Face (especially with that stylish red band around the side). However, Mr. Puppy Face did not agree. He thought that he new bath was terrifying and horrible.
So I started to look for other uses. Fortunately, it was just about feeding time for Mr. Kitty, and Mr. Kitty is always whining for more food. So I decided to use the ginormous cake carrier as a ginormous cat feeder. That way, he wouldn’t meow as often for food, and I wouldn’t have to fetch him nibbles every 5 minutes. Thus, it seemed like a mutually beneficial decision.
However, once again, Mr. Kitty was confused and skeptical.
It was at this point that I abandoned my animals. Clearly, they had no desire to help me upcycle traditional objects into trendy new items. So I turned to other living organism in the hopes that they might be a bit more accommodating.
I have a pepper plant that is getting a little too big for its pot, and so I gave it a new home. But, alas, there was no way to drain the water from my new cake carrier-turned-pepper holder. So I was forced to abandon this idea as well, lest the roots grow moldy and die.
It was at this point that I started to get a bit sick of the damn cake carrier. So I used it as a trash can. However, it was too big to fit in beside the toilet, and putting it on top of the current trash can seemed a bit redundant.
Then I gave it a go as a laundry basket. It was too small. You can probably tell that I was growing frustrated and listless, as I only took one picture.
Finally, I did the only thing I could; I took it outside and kicked the shit out of it.
Cake carrier — 7
Jolene — 1
Until next time, Mr. Cake Carrier. Until next time…