This post will teach you several things about me.
- I’ve made an excessive number of duct tape wallets.
- I take strange pictures of my dog and (inadvertently) bring him shame.
- Some of my posts have done fairly well, which concerns me because this is where I come to make a fool of myself.
But let’s back track for a moment…
One day, fate came knocking on my door. I got 10 refers from a search engine. I felt like a rock star. I know that most people would see this and go, “meh.” But not Jolene. No, Jolene decided that everyone loves her and wants to buy her wallets. So. Rather than reading for my Comprehensive Exam so I can get my Ph.D. and enter the adult world (where people make monies and use it to pay for things), Jolene went on an insane wallet making spree. My insanity was compounded by the glimmering dream of selling enough wallets to pay off my college debt and move to a hippie commune where I would knit sweaters and crochet funny little dog hats for the rest of my days.
This wallet making craze continued for a few weeks, but this afternoon I stopped to take a breather. I quickly realized what I’d done.
First, it takes quite some time to make a wallet (about 45min.). Second, I have A LOT of college debt (we’re talking triple digits). In order to make enough money to pay off my college debt, I would need to sell some 10,000 wallets at 20$ a piece. Assuming that I work 8 hours a day with no breaks, I would need to work for 937 days straight just to make 10,000 wallets, and I would still need to sell them (you may want to check my figures as I can’t math).
My hippie commune dreams were dashed. However, in an attempt to salvage something from the situation, I decided to make a blog post to highlight just how many wallets I’ve made. However, I had a problem setting up the photo shoot.
- Initially, I thought that I would lay all of the wallets out on the table according to color. These nice groupings would clearly show my artistic abilities and simultaneously reveal the excessive number of wallets that I’d made. Unfortunately, I got bored after 30 seconds and only got this far…as you can see, the result is decidedly underwhelming.
- It seems that I lack the willpower necessary to sustain a log term project like laying wallets on a table. So I decided to just throw them out haphazardly. However, I couldn’t fit all of the wallets into the picture. And frankly, this random mishmash of wallets hardly does justice to all the time that I put into making them.
- Next, I decided that I should just stack all the wallets on top of one another. This way, I could fit all of the wallets into the image, and the huge stack would reveal just how many wallets I’d made. The wallets kept falling over, but I finally managed to balance them long enough to get this picture. However, with nothing to compare the stack to, you really can’t tell how high it is. I needed something to give the image some context.
- Enlisting the assistance of my smallish dog seemed like the right choice. Initially, he seemed skeptical about the whole thing. But he finally settled in to just looking frightened and dejected.
But smallish dog got annoyed and jumped off the table before I could get the bi-fold wallets into the photo. So not all of the wallets are in the image. At this point, I decided to give up and just count the damn wallets. As it turns out, I made 56 wallets. That might not sound like a lot, but at 45 min. a piece, that works out to be a lot of time that I spent not reading for my Comps exam. But the worst of it? I didn’t just spend a ton of time making the wallets, I spent a ton of time making the wallets and then spent a ton of time blogging about how I spent a ton of time making wallets. This is how we know that Jolene has no life.
On the upside, it seems that some nice person posted a link to my tutorial on facebook, and a bunch of people have been coming to my page. Maybe I can make it to the commune by putting ads on this blog…