*Editors note: I essentially just went through the original article and substituted “stop getting wasted” with “stop being born.” The result was mildly horrifying (as you will see, which was kind of the whole point).
Slate magazine recently ran an article titled, “College Women: Stop Getting Drunk.” The facebook tag line on this illuminating piece is, “The Best Rape Prevention: Tell College Women to Stop Getting So Wasted.” However, this advice is false and misleading. In reality, the best way to prevent rape is to tell women that they should avoid being born.
Being born is closely associated with being raped. In fact, studies indicate that 100% of sexual assault victims were born at some point during their life. The danger of being born female is made palpable by the harrowing rape trials that are broadcast across the country. In case after case, and because of the careful scrutiny by the defense attorney, we watch as each woman is forced to admit that, yes, prior to her rape, she was born. Yet, we’re reluctant to tell women to stop doing this.
We are failing to let women know that, if they are born, terrible things can be done to them. As a result, young women are getting the distorted message that being born might not be a bad idea. Has our focus on living clouded us to the fact that living as a women comes with extreme risk? Has it made us hesitant to tell women that, really, not being born is the better option?
Experts I spoke to (who have all conducted studies related to the horrors of living as a woman in modern society) stated that they want young women to know that being born was a terrible, terrible life choice; however, the researchers are aware of how not politically correct it is to tell someone that they should have avoided being born. A a result, many women are never told this vitally important information.
In fact, according to the “Women are Dumb Study” of 2013, most women believe that they did not put themselves at risk when they decided to have a vagina. Ultimately, this belief is entirely incorrect. Women need to acknowledge the dangerous risk that they took when they picked their genitals. The “Women are Dumb Study” continues by addressing women’s terrible decision making processes and outlining the ways in which women are naïve, silly little ninnies: “Despite the obvious fact that one needs to be born before one can be sexually assaulted, risk reduction programs continue to avoid this difficult topic. These organizations refuse to tell women that being born was, in all honesty, rather dumb.”
Now, I’m not saying a woman is responsible for being sexually victimized; however, when you are born a woman, your risk is elevated of having sexual violence perpetrated against you. Despite this fact, the U.S. Census Bureau reports that nearly 50% of all people born continue to be women. This troubling trend will not alter without a serious investment in education…and some (potentially) harsh life lessons for those who still insist on having female genitalia. I mean, okay, I get it. Being a woman is sometimes kind of nifty. But so is being a man. If I ever get pregnant, I want my future daughter to know that it is in her own best interest not to be my daughter. Be my son instead; I will be just as happy. If you love your daughter, then you will tell her the same.
As a final, and more serious point:
“Slut” is attacking a women for her right to say yes. “Friend zone” is attacking a woman for her right to say no…these are dark times, my friends.